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Michael Brittingham
(not a XING member)

3 Keys to Meeting Women
FYI: 3 Keys to Meeting Women

Forget the magic words and clever lines
By David Wygant, Special to Yahoo! Personals

Updated: Aug 24, 2007

Most men think there's a magic word they can say to get a woman to talk to them. while there is no such "magic word," there are three keys to communicating with a woman that work every single time.

This is not earth-shattering stuff. What I'm about to teach you is a simple approach that has worked every single time I or one of my students have used it.

Here are the three simple steps to communicating with a woman:

Step 1: Observe What She Is Doing. Take the example of a woman standing behind you in line at the supermarket unloading her groceries. What is she putting on the conveyor belt? If she's behind you in line at Starbucks, what is she ordering? What is she eating?

Notice everything she's doing. Let the environment give you something to say.

Most guys think of something to say that's so random it makes absolutely no sense in a woman's mind.

Most guys think of something to say that's so random it makes absolutely no sense in a woman's mind. Women actually make fun of these guys and say, "You won't believe what he actually came over and said to me."

Step 2: Act on the Observation. In order to properly act upon the observation, you need to open her up and evoke a feeling. For instance, if a woman is ordering a double espresso, the thing to talk about is usually the first thing that comes to your mind.

A typical guy might say, "Do you like coffee?" which leads to a yes or no answer. A man who is 100 percent present will look at her and say, "Rough night last night?" or "Busy day ahead?" What you're trying to do is stay inside her head and remain in her current thought process.

It's much easier to have a conversation based upon things she's already experiencing. A woman will share something that's already going on in her head.

Another example: you're standing at a bar and see a woman ferociously texting someone while standing there by herself. You can walk over and make an assumption like "Is your friend late?" This will in turn open up a conversation based upon feelings and emotions.

Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you emotionally.

Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you emotionally. They don't want to bond with you randomly. This leads us to Step 3.

Step 3: Listen to What She Has to Say. In order to have good conversation and bond with a woman, you need to listen to what she says. If you listen to her, you will know what to say next. It's called a conversation for a reason.

A lot of men always think about what to say next, or they have a script in their head about what to say next. That's not a conversation -- that's a bad screenplay.

For example, I was standing with a couple of clients on a corner in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There was a woman standing there by herself with a suitcase, obviously waiting for someone to pick her up for a weekend getaway. So what did these two guys do? They observed and they asked her:

Guys: "So where are you going?"
Girl: "New Jersey."

Immediately one of them says, "New Jersey? I'm from Tampa."

That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk about himself. He doesn't care about her right off the bat.

That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk about himself. He doesn't care about her right off the bat. The correct thing to say in this situation is this:

Guy: "Where in Jersey are you going?"
Girl: "The shore for the weekend."

Now, in turn, the two guys can keep her present in her head about the weekend and ask her about her trip.
Guys: "Which beach?" or "Wow, how long are you staying there?"

If they listen and stop thinking about how to amuse her by telling her they're from Tampa, they'll actually connect with her and have a conversation about the shore, vacations -- and who knows where the conversation might go.

Men complicate things for no reason. There are no magic lines that you can say, but in reality if men just talked to women like they talk to their closest friends, they would have amazing conversations. Men just need to relax and listen to what women are saying.

Do this and you're going to have great conversations. It's that simple! Get out of the house, observe, react and listen!

Dating Coach, Blogger and Author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David's interactive blog at http://davidwygant.com
- 24 Aug 2007, 4:48 pm
Michael Brittingham wrote: > FYI: 3 Keys to Meeting Women > > Forget the magic words and clever lines > By David Wygant, Special to Yahoo! Personals > > Updated: Aug 24, 2007 > > Most men think there's a magic word they can say to get a woman to > talk to them. while there is no such "magic word," there are three > keys to communicating with a woman that work every single time. > > This is not earth-shattering stuff. What I'm about to teach you is a > simple approach that has worked every single time I or one of my > students have used it. > > Here are the three simple steps to communicating with a woman: > > Step 1: Observe What She Is Doing. Take the example of a woman > standing behind you in line at the supermarket unloading her > groceries. What is she putting on the conveyor belt? If she's behind > you in line at Starbucks, what is she ordering? What is she eating? > > Notice everything she's doing. Let the environment give you something > to say. > > Most guys think of something to say that's so random it makes > absolutely no sense in a woman's mind. > > Most guys think of something to say that's so random it makes > absolutely no sense in a woman's mind. Women actually make fun of > these guys and say, "You won't believe what he actually came over and > said to me." > > Step 2: Act on the Observation. In order to properly act upon the > observation, you need to open her up and evoke a feeling. For > instance, if a woman is ordering a double espresso, the thing to talk > about is usually the first thing that comes to your mind. > > A typical guy might say, "Do you like coffee?" which leads to a yes > or no answer. A man who is 100 percent present will look at her and > say, "Rough night last night?" or "Busy day ahead?" What you're > trying to do is stay inside her head and remain in her current > thought process. > > It's much easier to have a conversation based upon things she's > already experiencing. A woman will share something that's already > going on in her head. > > Another example: you're standing at a bar and see a woman ferociously > texting someone while standing there by herself. You can walk over > and make an assumption like "Is your friend late?" This will in turn > open up a conversation based upon feelings and emotions. > > Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you emotionally. > > Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you > emotionally. They don't want to bond with you randomly. This leads us > to Step 3. > > Step 3: Listen to What She Has to Say. In order to have good > conversation and bond with a woman, you need to listen to what she > says. If you listen to her, you will know what to say next. It's > called a conversation for a reason. > > A lot of men always think about what to say next, or they have a > script in their head about what to say next. That's not a > conversation -- that's a bad screenplay. > > For example, I was standing with a couple of clients on a corner in > Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There was a woman standing there by herself > with a suitcase, obviously waiting for someone to pick her up for a > weekend getaway. So what did these two guys do? They observed and > they asked her: > > Guys: "So where are you going?" > Girl: "New Jersey." > > Immediately one of them says, "New Jersey? I'm from Tampa." > > That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk > about himself. He doesn't care about her right off the bat. > > That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk > about himself. He doesn't care about her right off the bat. The > correct thing to say in this situation is this: > > Guy: "Where in Jersey are you going?" > Girl: "The shore for the weekend." > > Now, in turn, the two guys can keep her present in her head about the > weekend and ask her about her trip. > Guys: "Which beach?" or "Wow, how long are you staying there?" > > If they listen and stop thinking about how to amuse her by telling > her they're from Tampa, they'll actually connect with her and have a > conversation about the shore, vacations -- and who knows where the > conversation might go. > > Men complicate things for no reason. There are no magic lines that > you can say, but in reality if men just talked to women like they > talk to their closest friends, they would have amazing conversations. > Men just need to relax and listen to what women are saying. > > Do this and you're going to have great conversations. It's that > simple! Get out of the house, observe, react and listen! > > Dating Coach, Blogger and Author David Wygant has been featured on > more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS > Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David's > interactive blog at http://davidwygant.com
Julia Ludmilla
(not a XING member)

Re: 3 Keys to Meeting Women
Hello Mr. Brittingham,

you´ve written a great Article I must say !

I think you have really worked out solid keys to a womens heart !

But where did you experience all this ?

How were your " the early days", when you made these experiences, I mean whean you also made mistakes in order to learn. How did you gain strength and self-confidence after a blue moon ?

So how did all this get up to you ? I am very interested !

Greetings

Julia
- 30 Aug 2007, 6:42 pm
Julia Ludmilla wrote: > Hello Mr. Brittingham, > > you´ve written a great Article I must say ! > > I think you have really worked out solid keys to a womens heart ! > > But where did you experience all this ? > > How were your " the early days", when you made these experiences, I > mean whean you also made mistakes in order to learn. How did you gain > strength and self-confidence after a blue moon ? > > So how did all this get up to you ? I am very interested ! > > Greetings > > Julia
Dr. Nilgün Birgören Premium Member Group moderator
The company name is only visible to registered members.

Re^2: 3 Keys to Meeting Women
Hi Michael - that was a lot of fun to read:-)
Especially the part on "conversation for reason"!!
However, I personally think that it is a chemical thing between a man and a woman, no matter what he says or how she reacts / vice versa. It is just there and you cannot avoid it:-)
As for supermarkets or bars ... not for me - may be the beach - where I may observe fully if the toe nails are cut finely!!!
Kind regards,
Nilgun
- 30 Aug 2007, 7:06 pm
Dr. Nilgün Birgören wrote: > Hi Michael - that was a lot of fun to read:-) > Especially the part on "conversation for reason"!! > However, I personally think that it is a chemical thing between a man > and a woman, no matter what he says or how she reacts / vice versa. > It is just there and you cannot avoid it:-) > As for supermarkets or bars ... not for me - may be the beach - where > I may observe fully if the toe nails are cut finely!!! > Kind regards, > Nilgun
Michael Brittingham
(not a XING member)

Re: 3 Keys to Meeting Women
Warmest greetings back to you julia and thanks for your your kind words. The credit for writing goes to David Wygant, but if he hadn't said it in those words I would have said it in my own :-)

RE: "solid keys to a women's heart"... yes, I have "worked that out" completely, plus I know that the main thing is to be ready to "pick the lock" if the "keys" don't fit. :-)

Seriously though, I've been fortunate enough to learn that women open-up and close many times, according to their passing "attention", but to gain someone's interest is a whole other matter, and that takes a genuine, real interest in whoever it is that one is "paying attention" to.

How did I learn all of this and more... :-) ... the hard way, believe me. I tried and failed many times, sometimes even when I didn't even realize that I was "trying".

The most important thing is to know who we are ourselves, and to be true to that, so that we are who, and what we are, without seeming to be anyone else. Then we will ,or will not, be appreciated for just that... or not, as the case may be. All the rest is daily life, love and laughter in stronger doses then the occassional disappointments that wil lalways come-up.

My "early days" were always sincerely intended, and carried out with the best of intentions, but were always accompanied by a sense of distance, that clouded my character from an early age, when it seemed to me that all of the "objects of my love, need for, and attention" disappeared for one reason or another... usually unbeknownst to me at the time. It left me manytimes "cold, indifferent and distant" in order to protect my tender heart and feelings as best as I increasingly knew how. Cold... no I don't believe your heart is cold, maybe, just afraid, to be broken again.... :-)

Somewhere, somehow, along the way ,I grew-up, and decided to turn all "adversity" into strength and a deep trust and confidence in my own ability to be "true to myself", and to realy have a genuine love for and interest in, "the other person".... so "blue moon" or not, I am always able to see the brightness of the light, and focus on that, rather than on anything else.

This has made me a genuine "Master"... of myself and others. Said with a smiling ,but straight face. :-) and of course a "Thank you God"

Sooooooo... now how about those wonderful, warm, intelligent eyes and smile of yours..... :-)

Michael
- 30 Aug 2007, 9:20 pm
Michael Brittingham wrote: > Warmest greetings back to you julia and thanks for your your kind > words. The credit for writing goes to David Wygant, but if he hadn't > said it in those words I would have said it in my own :-) > > RE: "solid keys to a women's heart"... yes, I have "worked that out" > completely, plus I know that the main thing is to be ready to "pick > the lock" if the "keys" don't fit. :-) > > Seriously though, I've been fortunate enough to learn that women > open-up and close many times, according to their passing "attention", > but to gain someone's interest is a whole other matter, and that > takes a genuine, real interest in whoever it is that one is "paying > attention" to. > > How did I learn all of this and more... :-) ... the hard way, believe > me. I tried and failed many times, sometimes even when I didn't even > realize that I was "trying". > > The most important thing is to know who we are ourselves, and to be > true to that, so that we are who, and what we are, without seeming to > be anyone else. Then we will ,or will not, be appreciated for just > that... or not, as the case may be. All the rest is daily life, love > and laughter in stronger doses then the occassional disappointments > that wil lalways come-up. > > My "early days" were always sincerely intended, and carried out with > the best of intentions, but were always accompanied by a sense of > distance, that clouded my character from an early age, when it seemed > to me that all of the "objects of my love, need for, and attention" > disappeared for one reason or another... usually unbeknownst to me at > the time. It left me manytimes "cold, indifferent and distant" in > order to protect my tender heart and feelings as best as I > increasingly knew how. Cold... no I don't believe your heart is cold, > maybe, just afraid, to be broken again.... :-) > > Somewhere, somehow, along the way ,I grew-up, and decided to turn all > "adversity" into strength and a deep trust and confidence in my own > ability to be "true to myself", and to realy have a genuine love for > and interest in, "the other person".... so "blue moon" or not, I am > always able to see the brightness of the light, and focus on that, > rather than on anything else. > > This has made me a genuine "Master"... of myself and others. Said > with a smiling ,but straight face. :-) and of course a "Thank you God" > > Sooooooo... now how about those wonderful, warm, intelligent eyes and > smile of yours..... :-) > > Michael
Michael Brittingham
(not a XING member)

Re^2: 3 Keys to Meeting Women
Hi Nil... Thanks and I am happy that you found the points "interesting"... and fun. I think that's what it's all supposed to be about ... really. As for the "chemistry" I think chemistry changes the more intimate two people become, certain things are triggered in our brain and nervous system, and we associate that pleasure or pain with the other person, as we take them into ourselves. Whether or not there is a basic "litmus test" in the first meeting, is for others to speculate about, and for the "affected" to know. :-)

I agree; supermarkets are for food and other goods and not necessarily the best testing ground for sparking a "new relationship", unless of course, we're looking for a future shopping partner... :-)

RE: toes :-) I have always felt that it is but one more extension of who I am to myself, and have always kept mine pedicured by myself or others, trimmed and neet ,and sanded and attractive.... for myself first and foremost. :-)
Bye for now. Michael
- 30 Aug 2007, 9:47 pm
Michael Brittingham wrote: > Hi Nil... Thanks and I am happy that you found the points > "interesting"... and fun. I think that's what it's all supposed to be > about ... really. As for the "chemistry" I think chemistry changes > the more intimate two people become, certain things are triggered in > our brain and nervous system, and we associate that pleasure or pain > with the other person, as we take them into ourselves. Whether or not > there is a basic "litmus test" in the first meeting, is for others to > speculate about, and for the "affected" to know. :-) > > I agree; supermarkets are for food and other goods and not > necessarily the best testing ground for sparking a "new > relationship", unless of course, we're looking for a future shopping > partner... :-) > > RE: toes :-) I have always felt that it is but one more extension of > who I am to myself, and have always kept mine pedicured by myself or > others, trimmed and neet ,and sanded and attractive.... for myself > first and foremost. :-) > Bye for now. Michael
Wallace Zheng
The company name is only visible to registered members.

Re: 3 Keys to Meeting Women
Hi Michael,
Thank you for your tips on meeting women. Actually, I'm not good at it. Not me, I think lots of Asian people are not initiative. Maybe that's because of our culture. We spend more time to wait and always say love base on fate or luck. So that's why we can see more people keep single for long time.
Anyway, thank you for the tips and I hope I can read more article from you.
- 25 Dec 2008, 03:19 am
Wallace Zheng wrote: > Hi Michael, > Thank you for your tips on meeting women. Actually, I'm not good at > it. Not me, I think lots of Asian people are not initiative. Maybe > that's because of our culture. We spend more time to wait and always > say love base on fate or luck. So that's why we can see more people > keep single for long time. > Anyway, thank you for the tips and I hope I can read more article > from you.
Post visible to registered members
Wallace Zheng
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Re^3: 3 Keys to Meeting Women
Women's views let's know where is our direction and taget. ^-^
- 25 Dec 2008, 06:21 am
Wallace Zheng wrote: > Women's views let's know where is our direction and taget. ^-^
Post visible to registered members
Ignacio Laron
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Re^5: 3 Keys to Meeting Women
This a pretty impressive article, you probably have experienced all these things, thanks for sharing.
- 30 Mar 2011, 11:52 am
Ignacio Laron wrote: > This a pretty impressive article, you probably have experienced all > these things, thanks for sharing.