THE ROBOT SKETCH
(A TV Newsroom. At plastic desk-like piece of furniture, two TV Moderators, a man and a woman, are sitting, intently watching the small screen in front of each one. Behind them, on a video wall the logo of a News Show is seen. They are waiting for the start signal, carefully avoiding each other’s gaze, but throwing hateful looks when the other is not looking.)
on air in 5-4-3-2-1.
a green light goes on.
At the Technological Exhibition TeCon starting today, several new and interesting developments in the area of
Technology where presented.
The scope of the displays runs from household appliances, to communication and gaming, showing the latest designs in
In the household area the company „DEP – Domestic Engineering Products“ presented their new line of robots for the
Being the main supplier of robots in the domain of gastronomic-, service and lower health care, DEP now completed its
field-tests for the series MOP and DOLM for private use.
Those models will be available by upscale vendors following this autumn. The Robots are luxuriously equipped with a
wide range of features.
The model MOP (standing for Multi Operational Privat Robot), generally outfitted with a female look, can be individually
put together according to private wishes and tastes.
On the screen behind the anchorpersons the picture of a nearly human looking female robot is shown, blond, blue eyed, thin, but bulging in all the right places. Perfectly symetic, Its teint is somewhat metallic though. Around the forearm there is a band, naming the model number, and sporting assorted buttons and lights as well as a small display.
Its look can be chosen from a whole list of designs, from dark to light, tall or small, thin or chubby, ..
We see a second, nearly identical looking robot on the screen, only this time with dark hair and brown eyes. The robot
shown next is exactly like the blond but more bosomed and with a rounder look.
.. older or younger. Cultural or locale specific differences are also available.
A robot with more oblong eyes and dark strait hair is smiling into the camera, and submissively taking a bow.
As a custom product, albeit for a not insubstantial additional charge „Look-alikes“ of celebrities can be ordered from a
catalog. In the case of public figures that are still alive, or relatives requesting royalties, fees arise.
A somewhat gaga looking, brightly pink dressed robot, with a weird hairdo sticking up from it’s head is wearing an apron and holding a soup ladle.
The MOP model has a wide array of parameterizeable properties. Its cooking abilities can be set to 9 different tastes,
and the range of dishes can be preselected from 91 different country-specific menus. So tasty meals are guarantied.
(mumbling) Not like with some women I know.(drawing an angry look from the woman beside him)
On the screen the blonde smilingly performs the last moves on a giant Buffet of modern mini-foods. The dark haired puts Asiatic specialties on a table surrounded by smiling Businessman and women in suits and ties or fancy dresses. The fuller version of the blonde puts a bowl of Dumplings, ‘Schweinsbraten’ and Sauerkraut on table covered with a red and white checkered tablecloth.
MOP can perform all forms of household work....
And well too!
The robots dusts with a feather-duster with one hand, while vacuuming with the other, and cleaning a window with a towel held in its foot.
It is pre-programmed for a large number of Household-, Children surveillance- and Cooking abilities with several
selectable characteristics and national preferences. Driving is included in the features of the basic configuration,
complete with navigational information and a help system. It’s actually said to be really save. Will never ruin your car!
And! Listen to this!
A general personal disposition, several languages and, most importantly, a mute setting can be selected. (mumbles)
You could only hope for that in a real woman.
Even the level of Obeidience can be set, and as all other settings changed during runtime.
Conversational topics as Cooking, Cleanness, Fashion, Admiring of Owner, Children, etc. are shipped with the
package. More topics, even for women normally exotic(!) ones like knowledge of science or economy can be
downloaded on demand.
And even more. Robots can learn simple tasks as the usage of machines by observation. Would you not love that? Not
continually being asked to do work around the house?
The blond robot, using a giant drill hammer, and assorted other tools, works on the construction of a boarded wall, while
the male owner is reading his newspaper in a chair close by, wearing headphones to tune out the noise.
By the way, MOP is fully functional in all respects. (the news presenter licks his lips, a red light goes on on the desk, and
a beeping sound is heard, the newsperson clears his throat and continues)
Different practices are selectable. It is definitely designed for your pleasure.
(he makes a short break, his eyes taking on a glassy look, “Not like some women I know, he mouthes in her direction.” the light and sound are turned on again, and he pulls himself together)
But this is a family program, he ad-libs. (a light without a sound is turned on, and he falls silent)
(looking disgustedly at the other newsperson)
(sarcastically) You will be happy to know that MOP is approved for all sorts of customers, no questions asked. Criminal
charges for violence are no problem. Having one is probably even recommended by doctors to divert certain
tendencies away from society.
(the light and sound come on)
Ok, now to the other line of robot they are offering.
The male looking model DOLM (Domestic Luxurious Multifunctional Robot) is the thing for the working woman of today.
It will also be available with different selectable features. Eye and Hair-color can be selected. One of 5 heights can be
chosen, and fine-adjusted through a extractable Head and extending feet. (she looks over to the male newsperson, even
in sitting slightly smaller than her)
Several Expert-Sytems are available as a knowledge base. While very extensive, they can also be shut off by a
definable code-word. (she looks in the direction of the other) „Shut-up“ is the predefined trigger. (when she waits too
long for effect, which he suppresses with tight lips ,the light goes on, she clears her troat)
The robot can also: Show appropriate behavior near children, mix cocktails, perform simple culinary tasks and select
it’s own apparel according to preselected taste.
It speaks English, German and French as shipped, but can be upgraded to nearly any language on earth. Swearing and
bad language are included to some extent, with the knowledge where appropriate to use, but can easily be disabled.
(she triumphantly looks at her neighbor)
It can learn simple tasks like vacuuming and dish-washing, but the company admits to small quality problems with
results in this area. Don’t we know that with real men?
They are looking into the matter and promise to have it rectified before mass production. For more complex household-
operations a special extension pack is available. (She makes a portentous pause to emphasize and mouths „Not like
you“ to her college)
It can adapt its behavior to the erratic and unstable condition of having to live with a female owner by taking into
consideration the female hormonal household, only requiring the input of a few parameters. (he sniggers)
An upgrade for DOLM enabling Cultural interest and basic literary education is available. Which with real man is nearly
(there is an icy silence while the two glare at each other
On the screen behind them the following text is shown)
A series of robots for all professional areas are in a planning stage, widely paremetrisize-able, and usable from a single
worker to a manager. They have excellent looks, abilities, knowledge and communication skills.