Problems logging in
Michael Genähr Gute Gags selbst schreiben
Hallo, ich bin professioneller Comedian und helfe meinen Zuschauern seit 1983 beim Lachen.
Neue Gags benötige ich von Beruf her ständig. Für neue Gags habe ich ein System entwickelt, das die Suche nach originellen Pointen erleichtert.
In meinen zweitägigen Workshops gebe ich Knowhow und Erfahrung im Comedy Writing weiter - an alle, die gute Gags benötigen (Comedians, Texter, Werber, Autoren, Sprecher, Redenschreiber, Werbeagenturen, Künstler, Radio- und Fernsehkollegen).
Schöne Grüße
Michael
Newton Davidson Party venues which are excellent to celebrate all festivities
There are lots of moments in a person’s life which he wishes to seize. It means certainly to celebrate such special occasions and festivities in ways that it shall be remembered by him throughout his lifetime. Celebrations have relevance and importance when celebrated with near and dear ones, family members, friends and loved ones. They share happiness with each other. Festival must be carefully planned, thoroughly enjoyed and thought about with his favorite ones. All this could be done in NYC private party venues.
To find most perfect party venues NY is a tough decision. NYC party venues offer options in plethora for celebrating D-day. From simplified to quirk affairs, a person chooses locations that are right doing it up. It depends obviously on occasion he is celebrating Reason is that, this helps in narrowing down options. Party venues in NYC are segregated on number of individuals attending function because all venues have limited capacities of holding masses. This is important truly for ensuring that place has been equipped for that kind of festivity and number of masses one is entertaining on his special day. Reason has been that, is place does not live up to expectation of function holder, then entire fun is crashed.
NYC private party venues are different, exotic with lots of fun and frolic. One picks correct venues after decision of party theme is done with kind of affairs this venue shall hold. There is a certainty that place wherein baby showers are to be done along with entire lushes has to be different from business conferences together with cocktails.
If not 2 various places, but least of all, party venues NY has ability for promising right setting ups because 2 occasions natures are different totally. Informal or formal do helps in decision of place to be chosen for spending evening with loved public. Themes of varieties could be thought up forth for celebrations that are exciting at one of party venues at NY. This not only means themes going with reason of parties but few different stuffs representing kinds of fashions or cinema. There are lots of things a person can conduct for creating memorable and exciting events. Hiring event planners are presently in vogue.
It not only takes away all planning tensions of gusts and do, but they know varied party venues in NY together with unique points of theirs. This makes decisions easy. Matching and mixing numerous things for preparation of perfect affairs is what all aspire.
Andrea Balaz the robot sketch
THE ROBOT SKETCH
(A TV Newsroom. At plastic desk-like piece of furniture, two TV Moderators, a man and a woman, are sitting, intently watching the small screen in front of each one. Behind them, on a video wall the logo of a News Show is seen. They are waiting for the start signal, carefully avoiding each other’s gaze, but throwing hateful looks when the other is not looking.)
(off)
on air in 5-4-3-2-1.
a green light goes on.
Man
At the Technological Exhibition TeCon starting today, several new and interesting developments in the area of
Technology where presented.
The scope of the displays runs from household appliances, to communication and gaming, showing the latest designs in
each field.
Woman
In the household area the company „DEP – Domestic Engineering Products“ presented their new line of robots for the
domestic area.
Being the main supplier of robots in the domain of gastronomic-, service and lower health care, DEP now completed its
field-tests for the series MOP and DOLM for private use.
Those models will be available by upscale vendors following this autumn. The Robots are luxuriously equipped with a
wide range of features.
Man
The model MOP (standing for Multi Operational Privat Robot), generally outfitted with a female look, can be individually
put together according to private wishes and tastes.
On the screen behind the anchorpersons the picture of a nearly human looking female robot is shown, blond, blue eyed, thin, but bulging in all the right places. Perfectly symetic, Its teint is somewhat metallic though. Around the forearm there is a band, naming the model number, and sporting assorted buttons and lights as well as a small display.
Man (cont.)
Its look can be chosen from a whole list of designs, from dark to light, tall or small, thin or chubby, ..
We see a second, nearly identical looking robot on the screen, only this time with dark hair and brown eyes. The robot
shown next is exactly like the blond but more bosomed and with a rounder look.
Man (cont.)
.. older or younger. Cultural or locale specific differences are also available.
A robot with more oblong eyes and dark strait hair is smiling into the camera, and submissively taking a bow.
Man (cont.)
As a custom product, albeit for a not insubstantial additional charge „Look-alikes“ of celebrities can be ordered from a
catalog. In the case of public figures that are still alive, or relatives requesting royalties, fees arise.
A somewhat gaga looking, brightly pink dressed robot, with a weird hairdo sticking up from it’s head is wearing an apron and holding a soup ladle.
Man (cont.)
The MOP model has a wide array of parameterizeable properties. Its cooking abilities can be set to 9 different tastes,
and the range of dishes can be preselected from 91 different country-specific menus. So tasty meals are guarantied.
(mumbling) Not like with some women I know.(drawing an angry look from the woman beside him)
On the screen the blonde smilingly performs the last moves on a giant Buffet of modern mini-foods. The dark haired puts Asiatic specialties on a table surrounded by smiling Businessman and women in suits and ties or fancy dresses. The fuller version of the blonde puts a bowl of Dumplings, ‘Schweinsbraten’ and Sauerkraut on table covered with a red and white checkered tablecloth.
Man (cont.)
MOP can perform all forms of household work....
And well too!
The robots dusts with a feather-duster with one hand, while vacuuming with the other, and cleaning a window with a towel held in its foot.
Man(cont.)
It is pre-programmed for a large number of Household-, Children surveillance- and Cooking abilities with several
selectable characteristics and national preferences. Driving is included in the features of the basic configuration,
complete with navigational information and a help system. It’s actually said to be really save. Will never ruin your car!
And! Listen to this!
A general personal disposition, several languages and, most importantly, a mute setting can be selected. (mumbles)
You could only hope for that in a real woman.
Even the level of Obeidience can be set, and as all other settings changed during runtime.
Conversational topics as Cooking, Cleanness, Fashion, Admiring of Owner, Children, etc. are shipped with the
package. More topics, even for women normally exotic(!) ones like knowledge of science or economy can be
downloaded on demand.
And even more. Robots can learn simple tasks as the usage of machines by observation. Would you not love that? Not
continually being asked to do work around the house?
The blond robot, using a giant drill hammer, and assorted other tools, works on the construction of a boarded wall, while
the male owner is reading his newspaper in a chair close by, wearing headphones to tune out the noise.
Man (cont.)
By the way, MOP is fully functional in all respects. (the news presenter licks his lips, a red light goes on on the desk, and
a beeping sound is heard, the newsperson clears his throat and continues)
Different practices are selectable. It is definitely designed for your pleasure.
(he makes a short break, his eyes taking on a glassy look, “Not like some women I know, he mouthes in her direction.” the light and sound are turned on again, and he pulls himself together)
But this is a family program, he ad-libs. (a light without a sound is turned on, and he falls silent)
Woman
(looking disgustedly at the other newsperson)
(sarcastically) You will be happy to know that MOP is approved for all sorts of customers, no questions asked. Criminal
charges for violence are no problem. Having one is probably even recommended by doctors to divert certain
tendencies away from society.
(the light and sound come on)
Ok, now to the other line of robot they are offering.
The male looking model DOLM (Domestic Luxurious Multifunctional Robot) is the thing for the working woman of today.
It will also be available with different selectable features. Eye and Hair-color can be selected. One of 5 heights can be
chosen, and fine-adjusted through a extractable Head and extending feet. (she looks over to the male newsperson, even
in sitting slightly smaller than her)
Several Expert-Sytems are available as a knowledge base. While very extensive, they can also be shut off by a
definable code-word. (she looks in the direction of the other) „Shut-up“ is the predefined trigger. (when she waits too
long for effect, which he suppresses with tight lips ,the light goes on, she clears her troat)
The robot can also: Show appropriate behavior near children, mix cocktails, perform simple culinary tasks and select
it’s own apparel according to preselected taste.
It speaks English, German and French as shipped, but can be upgraded to nearly any language on earth. Swearing and
bad language are included to some extent, with the knowledge where appropriate to use, but can easily be disabled.
(she triumphantly looks at her neighbor)
It can learn simple tasks like vacuuming and dish-washing, but the company admits to small quality problems with
results in this area. Don’t we know that with real men?
They are looking into the matter and promise to have it rectified before mass production. For more complex household-
operations a special extension pack is available. (She makes a portentous pause to emphasize and mouths „Not like
you“ to her college)
Man
It can adapt its behavior to the erratic and unstable condition of having to live with a female owner by taking into
consideration the female hormonal household, only requiring the input of a few parameters. (he sniggers)
...
Woman
An upgrade for DOLM enabling Cultural interest and basic literary education is available. Which with real man is nearly
hopeless...
(there is an icy silence while the two glare at each other
On the screen behind them the following text is shown)
A series of robots for all professional areas are in a planning stage, widely paremetrisize-able, and usable from a single
worker to a manager. They have excellent looks, abilities, knowledge and communication skills.
Marco Marjanovic OSTERNGRUSS############################################################################
FROHE OSTERN ! Als die ersten Missionare nach Afrika kamen, besaßen sie die Bibel und wir das Land. Sie forderten uns auf zu beten. Und wir schlossen die Augen. Als wir sie wieder öffneten, war die Lage genau umgekehrt: Wir hatten die Bibel und sie das Land. ~~~ Desmond Mpilo Tutu
Frohe Ostern
Marco Marjanovic

Moderators

Moderator details

About the group: Comedy Today

  • Founded: 22/11/2006
  • Members: 159
  • Visibility: open
  • Posts: 65
  • Comments: 145