Probleme beim Einloggen
Larisa Varenikova A horse, a chicken and a Harley.
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!
The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral)
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks"
Irene Donner
LOL!!
Brilliant story!!!
Good site with jokes is here: http://www.jokes.com/
And from me:
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing who's to blame for a missed deadline or a failed project.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
Ego Surfing: Googling one's own name.
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
Ohno Second: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a huge mistake.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Kids, Oppressive Mortgage.
Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Treeware: Printed documentation or paperwork.
Xerox Subsidy: Free photocopies from one's workplace.
Larisa Varenikova Which sign works better? -:)
.
Parvinder and Habib are beggars.
They beg in different areas of London. Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day. However, Parvinder brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
A puzzled Habib asks Parvinder 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'
Parvinder says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?
Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.
Parvinder says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3!!'
Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'?
Parvinder shows Habib his sign....
It reads, 'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan '. -:)))))
Dimitry Lapushkin
WOW -:)))
Great story. And it is about the business -;))
Larisa Varenikova Country Sales Director / VP Sales Director
My client is rapidly expanding, solid and stable US based IT company with affiliated company in Ukraine is searching for experienced VP Sales Director (Country Sales Manager) with location in Kharkov.
Company information:
Leading global software development company focused on custom application development, software testing, web system design, and product support services. The company has ISO 9001 certified development centers in Eastern Europe. The innovation and growth achievements are reflected in winning prestigious Deloitte Technology Fast 50 award two years in a row. Global Services magazine ranked this company second in Top 5 Global Emerging Service Providers list. The company also was included into the Global Outsourcing Top 100 by the International Association of Outsourcing Professionals and Fortune magazine.
Responsibilities:
- Plans, leads and directs all aspects of Company's marketing and sales
policies, objectives, and initiatives.
- Develops, leads and oversees the sales team.
- Ensures the sales plan and team work are organized to achieve maximum
sales volume.
- Helps the sales team with contract negotiating and closing deals.
- Identifies and develops key marketing channels , practices and
procedures.
- Creates marketing and sales budget and monitors its effectiveness.
- Oversees and analyzes competitive strategies, new markets and business
opportunities .
- Reports directly to Top Management.
Qualification requirements:
- Successful sales record of, specifically, outsourcing or custom
software development services;
- Demonstrates expertise in a variety of the field's concepts,
practices, and procedures;
- Proven management experience of a team of not less than 3 people;
- At least 6 years of experience in the field;
- Native-like English;
- Creative, motivated, goal-oriented individual;
- US or European education is a plus (not required);
- Knowledge of other languages is a plus (not required);
- Experience of living abroad and working in Western companies is a plus
(not required)
The company offers an excellent compensation and benefits package, exceptional bonus system, perspectives for growth, independence in decision making, non-bureaucratic work environment, trainings and professional teamwork. Excellent opportunities for growth and career progression. The company is great, the salary is very good and the perspectives are VERY interesting.
For more information please contact Larisa.Varenikova[@]yahoo.com
All correspondence will be held strictly confidential.
Larisa Varenikova Why do we work and pay tax in South Africa ?
This I've got from my friend from South Africa today - I have find it interesting.
Enjoy! -:)))
A Zimbabwean arrives in Jo'burg as a new immigrant in South Africa . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. South African, for letting me in this country, and giving me free housing, food, free medical care, affirmative action job and free education!"
But the passer-by says, "You are mistaken, I am a Nigerian. I'm just here for the free medical care"
The man goes on and encounters another passer-by "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in South Africa !"
The person says, "I'm not South African, I'm from Mozambique. I'm just here for the free housing"
The new arrival walks further and the next person he sees he stops, shakes hands and says, "Thank you for the wonderful South Africa !" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Botswana, I am not a South African .I'm just here for the free education"
He finally sees a lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you a South African? She says, "No, I am from Ghana !"
So he is puzzled and asks her, "Where are all the South Africans?" The Ghana lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says..."Probably at work!"
AND WE ARE! That is why you are able to read this here.... -:)

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